Thank you for submitting your resume for the position of [X]. Unfortunately, while you were spending days researching our company, digging through your network of people to take someone out to coffee, creating the perfect custom resume and cover letter, then filling out your entire job history in our online form, 160 other applicants were already considered, vetted, interviewed, and in the end, the position has been filled. We will keep your resume on file for one year, at which point we will discard it just days before posting the perfect job for you, which we won’t tell you about. Good luck on your job search.
Regards,
P.S. In truth, we didn’t hire anyone. Instead, we handed all the duties over to an existing employee and gave them a more impressive title without an increase in salary.